Evil Does Not Wear Pink
by omni82
Summary: In an AU timeline, Soi is married to Nakago and has a pair of devil kids, Suboshi and Amiboshi. The dose of kodoku has had strange effects on Suboshi and Amiboshi. Can Soi find them before disaster strikes?
1. Evil Does Not Wear Pink

Disclaimer: I wear pink and I don't own Fushigi Yuugi.  
  
~AU please! ~  
  
***  
  
Evil Does Not Wear Pink  
PinkVerse#1  
by:omni82  
  
***  
  
"I am evil. I do not wear pink." Nakago adamantly stated as he pulled the rosy cloak off his wide shoulders. His wife, Soi, sighed wearily and put it back on him.   
  
"You are not evil and it's not pink. It's light red. Please put that back on. You'll freeze without it. The wind is bitter today." She struggled with the clasp of the front of the covering but her husband swatted her hands away. His cerulean eyes bore into hers and he repeated his earlier statement more slowly, as if speaking to a very young child.  
  
"I will not wear pink. I am leaving now, woman, but will be back soon. Stay inside where it's warm." Nakago laid the robe gently on a nearby chair, kissed his wife, and headed into the cold. Soi ran a delicate hand through her red hair. The man never took care of himself and hardly ever let her do it for him. It was as if Nakago wanted to be uncomfortable.   
  
Shaking her head, Soi poured herself more coffee and settled in for the day. Despite her hatred of taking orders, she was willing to accept Nakago's last one. It was bone chillingly cold and she wasn't going out unless she had to. The search for the Shinzaho was going on despite the freezing climate. Priestess Yui insisted that all efforts be made to capture the object as soon as possible, even if it meant traveling in harsh weather. Soi snorted to herself and began to tidy up their tent. With a sigh, she realized she could not stay in the comfort of a heated room forever. Soldiers had to be briefed, travel zones set, and preparations made for the following day. And she had to find those annoying little brats before Tomo did.  
  
It wasn't motherly, she knew, to think of her own sons as annoying little brats but the truth was the truth and she had to face up to it. Her sons, Amiboshi and Suboshi, were the most irritating creatures to be spawned off a woman. It was a shame that it was she who would probably bear the shame of her sons misdeeds on this little adventure. Nakago was too much of a hero in Kutou to ever be held responsible for his sons setting the horses loose, switching the maps so half of the regiment ended up somewhere in Konan, and for setting fire to Tomo. Which reminded her…  
  
Soi threw on the same cloak that she had just been trying to get Nakago to wear and hurried outside. For their own protection, Soi had instructed her wayward sons to stick close to Lady Yui for the next day or so while Tomo's temper cooled. It would do no good for their mission if the painted seishi were to trap their minds in a terrifying illusion. Chances were that they would be too traumatized to focus their chi properly. Four-year-olds were so impressionable.   
  
"Tomo, may I come in please?" Soi stood just outside her fellow warrior's tent and called in. Last time she had just walked in and almost had her head bitten off for seeing him with no makeup on.   
  
"Are the evil ones with you?" a nasal voice inquired from within. Soi suppressed a smile. Brats, evil ones, and small hyper maniacs – her sons have been called just about everything. Only Lady Yui thought they were constantly cute. Soi agreed that her sons were adorable when they slept but when they were awake…well, that's something else entirely.   
  
"No, I believe they are with Lady Yui today," Soi replied through the curtain that served as a door.   
  
"I pity her," Tomo said sincerely and then sighed. "You might as well come in."  
  
Soi stepped inside and immediately had to adjust her eyes to the darkness. "By Seiryuu, Tomo, don't you ever light a candle?" Fumbling in the dark, she managed to get some light in the small tent. To her left sat Tomo with full makeup on but no headdress. The remnants of it sat sadly in one corner of the room, half of its feathers burnt off with the other half drooping from the dunking it got.   
  
"I can't believe that Nakago could possibly have sired such monsters." Tomo said in response to her assessing gaze. Soi bristled at the implied insult. She knew that Tomo was in love with Nakago but luckily, she was in the position to pity him.  
  
"Oh but he did and with great vigor. You have to, you know, in order to get twins." Soi smirked at the expression on Tomo's face. He looked as if he had just bitten into a sour apple.  
  
"Are you here for a reason Soi, or just to torment me?"   
  
"Both. I came to tell you that Nakago has a job for you. But, if you're still feeling poorly I can just as easily send Miboshi out…"   
  
"That ugly little twerp?! I think not. Tell me what Nakago wants me to do and I'll do it." Tomo swore. He was so gullible. All Soi ever had to do was threaten Tomo's esteem in Nakago's eyes and he caved.   
  
"Are you sure? I mean, without your headdress and all. Aren't you feeling a bit impotent?" Soi teased. She couldn't help it. The relationship she and Tomo shared was complicated and paradoxical but she understood it well enough to know just how far she could push him.  
  
"Soi, you bitch, just tell me my orders." Ah, there. That was as far as she could go before it came to blows.   
  
"Go out and find the Priestess of Suzaku. Catch her in one of her illusion snares and convince her that the only way to get the Shinzaho back from Nakago is to sleep with him." Tomo just stared at her.  
  
"You're going to let your husband sleep with that celestial slut?!" he exclaimed incredulously. Soi sighed; she hadn't liked the plan either but if Nakago was willing to take one for the team, who was she to judge? Besides, it would never happen. She had her own plans.   
  
"Are you going to go or what?"   
  
Tomo grumbled a bit but ended up wearing a dark cape with a deep cowl in place of his headdress. Soi would have it repaired while he was gone to make up for any ruffled feathers her progeny caused. In the mean time, she had to go protect Ashitare from Nakago's wrath. The smart-mouthed wolf-man always irritated her husband unnecessarily. It was up to her to make sure that Nakago didn't kill him while he was still useful as a babysitter.   
  
"What's the matter Nakago? No thank you? I think that it brings out that ever so lovely shade of red in your eyes." Soi could hear Ashitare's mouth before she even entered the tent. He really was a smarmy bastard.  
  
Clutching Nakago's hand in between hers, Soi's touch was a warning to her husband that he had to let the wolf-man live. The glowing, blue energy dispersed as Nakago reluctantly turned away from Ashitare. He held up a rather gaudy necklace.   
  
"The shinzaho."  
  
Soi nodded, entranced by the power radiating from the piece of jewelry. Nakago pressed it into her hands. "Make me a copy," he said. "When the Priestess of Suzaku comes to visit, she will be allowed to steal the forgery from me. You will keep the original. I hope I don't have to remind you to keep it away from those terrors."   
  
Soi made a face at him. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to keep it away from your sons," she replied, stressing the last two words. When the kids were bad, they were his sons.  
  
Nakago sighed and dismissed her.  
  
Preparing to go into the nearest city took more time than Soi had expected. When she returned to her tent, she found the twins sitting together on her bed with muddy clothes and bloody knees.  
  
"Mama, we fell." Amiboshi sniffled. Soi groaned. With their luck, it was probably off a cliff. She patted him on the head and began pulling their dirty clothes off. Lady Yui apparently had enough of them and deposited them back here. Soi couldn't really blame her; sometimes she wished she was able to do the same. Using a damp washcloth, she washed the crud off her babies and wiped away their tears. After a few cookies, they were laughing again and giving her slightly sticky kisses.  
  
"Mama has to go into town. If I take you with me, can you be good?" Soi asked in resignation. She couldn't very well ask Tomo to take care of them and last time Ashitare babysat, Suboshi came back with an inordinate amount of slobber on him.  
  
"Yes, Mama! We won't get lost like last time!"  
  
"Or break anything!"  
  
"Or set anyone on fire!"  
  
"Or hit anyone with sticks!"  
  
"My kids are monsters," Soi sighed but she nodded her assent anyhow. She really didn't have a choice.   
  
For the general populace's safety, she tied Amiboshi and Suboshi together at the wrists. They did less damage when not in two different groups. She listened with half an ear as they tottered cheerily behind her, pretending to be Lord Nakago and the evil Suzaku seishi. She only had to separate them once when Suboshi made his brother play the part of Suzaku no seishi Tamahome and get hit by flying pebbles. They sat docilely while the jeweler gave her a time and dollar estimate.   
  
"We have three hours to wait, boys. What would you like to do?" Soi asked, turning away from the wizened old craftsman.   
  
But they weren't there.  
  
"Amiboshi? Suboshi? Where are you? Come out right now!" Dashing out into the street, Soi frantically looked for them. The road was crowed with people passing shopping and talking loudly. Her sons were no where in sight.  
  
"If you come out of hiding right now, I'll buy you two cookies!" Bribery was usually an effective way to get them to pay attention but still they didn't come.   
  
"Oh my god," she moaned. "What if someone grabbed them? They could be hurt or dead. My babies… I want my babies!"   
  
Soi grabbed the arm of a passing man. "Please can you help me? You're tall enough to see over the crowd. Can you see a pair of small boys, twins tied together at the wrist?" Instead of looking at the mob, the man stared at her. In a flash, she recognized his face.  
  
"Tamahome…"  
  
"Soi." His voice was cold and his expression menacing. There was no chance of getting him to help her now that she was identified. Tamahome grabbed her wrist almost cruelly, his fingers biting into her tender flesh.  
  
"Where's Nakago?" He demanded. The look in his eyes promised swift and brutal retaliation if her answer didn't please him. While in Hokkan her powers were practically useless. She was, unfortunately, at Tamahome's mercy.  
  
When she didn't answer, his eyes narrowed. "So be it," he pronounced. His grip tightened; she could feel the bones in her arm start to give under the pressure…  
  
Suddenly his grasp ceased and Tamahome howled in pain. He stumbled backward and Soi got a glimpse of her sons attached to her enemy's knees by their teeth. They were sinking their sharp baby teeth into Tamahome's skin and thrashing about. A spray of small pebbles peppered the Suzaku seishi's back as soon as Suboshi thought of using his celestial powers. Tamahome came crashing down.  
  
"Tamahome no da!" That was the voice of the mage, Chichiri. Soi's stomach dropped as she recognized the approaching Suzaku seishi. On his heels was Tasuki, fan unsheathed and flashing.   
  
"Get away from him Seiryuu scum!" Tasuki cried. "Rekka Shinen!" A burst of red hot flames soared at them. Soi managed to summon a small dervish that sucked up the fire before it hit her and her sons. But the force of it drove her back where she tripped over Tamahome, landing in an ungraceful heap on the ground. The boys floundered under her voluminous robe.   
  
"Would you really hit someone's mother?" She pleaded as way of diversion. Chichiri looked torn, giving her the chance to sweep his legs out from under him and grab her children. Their squirming weight hampered her movements and Tasuki grabbed hold of her soon after that. Soi accidentally dropped Suboshi as she was whipped around. He went crashing into the stand of the dye-seller with a yelp. She didn't have time to worry about him as she turned her back to the young Suzaku seishi in order to protect Amiboshi from a blow that never came.   
  
When she turned back, she saw Nakago standing over three unconscious Suzaku seishi. He gave her the once over to make sure she wasn't injured before going to retrieve Suboshi from the wreckage of the dye stand. The little boy was covered head to toe with a muted rose color and wearing a giant grin. The blonde seishi held his son up before him for scrutiny.  
  
"I was wrong," he commented. "Evil does wear pink."   
End  
  
~Why you're down here, why don't you review? ~ 


	2. Pink Clothes and a Nagging Wife do not a...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the original ideas portrayed here poorly or not.   
  
~ 'Cuz it was so much fun the first time, here is the second installment in the "Evil Does Not Wear Pink" series. I'm thinking of calling it PinkVerse. ~  
  
***  
  
Pink Clothes and a Nagging Wife Do Not a Villain Make  
PinkVerse#2  
By: omni82  
  
***  
  
For her punishment in the incident at the market, Soi was confined to quarters. This was perfectly acceptable by her. She finally was going to get some peace and quiet. No kids getting into scrapes, no fussy, debutante illusionists to soothe, and best of all, no Suzaku seishi. With Seiryuu's blessing, she would get the nap that was four years in the making.  
  
Her eyes were just beginning to close when she heard it. A noise that sounded suspiciously like a hammer hitting metal was emanating from the far corners of the tent. As her mind was drawing scenarios for dealing with Nakago's rage, Soi rolled from her cot and sprinted across the makeshift room. She pulled the hammer out of Suboshi's hand as he went to hit the shinazaho for the third time. He smiled widely at her.  
  
"Hi Mama," her babies crowed, holding their arms out for a hug. Soi had to restrain the urge to smack them with the confiscated tool.   
  
"What were you doing?" She demanded through tightly clenched teeth. God, her jaw hurt. It was a wonder she could still open it after all these years.  
  
"We were hitting the shinazho so the Priestess of Poopy can't use it." Amiboshi explained.  
  
"Priestess of Poopy!" Suboshi echoed gleefully.   
  
"Poopy, poopy, poop!"  
  
"Poopy, poopy, poop!"  
  
Soi sighed and rubbed the sensitive skin at the bridge of her nose. If only they weren't in Hokkan! She could have given the pair a set of mild shocks that would have quieted them for the rest of the day.   
  
But, in their own demented way, the boys were just trying to help. Soi couldn't figure out for the life of her why on Earth Nakago insisted on his stupid plan to bed the Priestess of Suzaku. They had Genbu's shinazho and could be well on their way to Sairou now if not for his plan. What did the Priestess of Suzaku have that she didn't?   
  
Jealousy was what it all boiled down to, Soi realized. She was acting like a jealous wife and with good reason. If Nakago was going to go through with his stupid plan, she would just have to launch a counter-offensive of her own.   
  
"Boys, come sit by Mama for a minute," Soi cooed, patting the soft cushions of azure chaise she now reclined on. The twins eagerly scrambled up to press their adoring faces to her side. Not surprisingly, they were slightly sticky. Being a little gooey seemed to be a requirement of childhood.   
  
"Do you want to help your mama protect Daddy from that evil Priestess of Suzaku?" The boys looked positively flabbergasted that their brave, powerful father needed protection from the 'Priestess of Poopy.'   
  
"Daddy wants our help?" Amiboshi asked with such amazed disbelief that Soi was tempted to throttle her neglectful, dense husband.   
  
"Oh yes," Soi lied. "There isn't anyone better for the job than you. Daddy told me himself." It was true, in a way. Nakago had said that the twins walking examples of Murphy's Law, perfect for ruining schemes with just their presence.   
  
"What do we do?" Amiboshi queried, hopping down from her side. He began pacing around the room, rubbing his chin like he had seen his father do countless times when deep in thought. Not to be outdone, Suboshi joined him.   
  
"Should we tie her shoelaces together?"  
  
"Put snow down her shirt?"   
  
"Throw rocks at her?"   
  
"Steal all her underwear and plant it suspiciously in saddlebags of Suzaku no seishi, Mitsukake?"   
  
"That would be funny," Amiboshi agreed before the pair broke out into giggles.   
  
Soi stared at them, agape. Quickly, she recovered enough to lodge protest. "N-no," she told them and fixed her best 'Mommy Loves You' smile on her face. "All I want is for you to follow Daddy around wherever he goes. If he tries to make you leave, cry. The Priestess of Suzaku can't hurt him if you are always at his side."   
  
The boys looked doubtful. "Follow Daddy around?" Amiboshi echoed.   
  
"Will that really work?" Suboshi queried with identical disbelief.   
  
Soi smiled with a sly satisfaction that her young progeny would not understand until years later. "Yes. It will work perfectly."  
  
***  
Nakago nearly growled in his frustration. This was the third time that his wife's minions escaped from their bonds. And though a tiny part of him was proud of their persistent achievements, he had to lay the law down somewhere. It was a little ridiculous for he, the great Kutou shogun, to be tailed by a pair of children.   
"Amiboshi, Suboshi," Nakago began as he came to an abrupt halt. The shogun sighed wearily as the pair crashed into the back of his legs and fell to the ground. While they scrambled to attention, he wearily rubbed his face. Seiryuu grant him the patience to overcome this obstacle.   
  
"Go back to your tent and-"  
  
They burst into tears before he even finished his command. His wife was devious indeed, for even as the twins' sobs escalated into wails Nakago was on the receiving end of fatal glares from every woman in camp. If the blonde seishi didn't quiet the pair, he would be dealing with the mutiny of half his contingent.   
  
With a sigh, Nakago tucked the weeping pair under his arm and marched into his tent. Immediately, they settled down as he set them upon his desk and began to pace. So far he had instructed, commanded, and pleaded for them to stay away. He had tied them to a chair, a bedpost, and a stake. He had given them over a dozen mild blasts of chi but they were unusually resistant and kept coming. Each attempt to get a few moments peace resulted with the same hideous shrieking. It was high time he came to the root of their problem and eliminated it.   
  
"Did your mother set you up to this?" Nakago demanded before he could stop to think of a more tactful way of putting it. Luckily, the pair took no offense and stared at each other with puzzlement.   
  
"Set us up to what, Daddy?" Suboshi queried sweetly. He shot his father a smile of such unadulterated sweetness that Nakago lost his train of thought.   
  
"We're just following you because we love you," Amiboshi continued.   
  
"Don't you love us, Daddy?" Suboshi asked with the slightest of trembling on his baby lips.   
  
Nakago was flabbergasted. "Well, of course, I-"  
  
"We love you too," they crowed simultaneously. Launching themselves from the surface of the desk, they pressed sticky kisses on their father's cold cheek.   
  
As the small boys proceeded to heartily buss his cheeks, Nakago knew he was defeated. Somehow, two small children had outmaneuvered him. Perhaps he really was the emotional retard that Soi proclaimed him to be.   
  
Suboshi and Amiboshi exchanged smug smiles from across their father's shoulders. They had successfully saved their father from the Priestess of Poopy. Their mama would be so proud…  
  
And Soi was. The moment Nakago walked into their tent with their boys in his arms, she knew she had won. The unworthy Priestess of Suzaku would remain chaste.  
  
"You don't have to smirk," Nakago instructed irately. He set the boys down and watched as they scampered off to ruin someone else's plans.   
  
"I'm not smirking," Soi replied innocently. Patting a vacant spot on the bed next to her, she motioned for her husband to sit. He did so dejectedly that she was moved to comfort him.   
  
"Forget about it," Soi cooed. "No one could stand up to that kind of emotional blackmail. Even the most dedicated of strategists would have given in."   
  
"That's it!" Nakago sprang to his feet, dislodging his surprised wife.   
  
"That's what?" Soi asked, disgruntled. She had torn a sleeve in her fall.   
  
"We'll set our evil children on the Priestess of Suzaku and the Suzaku seishi. That will slow them down long enough for the rest of us to recover the second shinzaho and summon Seiryuu." Nakago's face was flushed with triumph, his expression one of smug satisfaction.  
  
"That's wrong in so many ways," Soi responded. "First of all, the Suzaku seishi already recognize the boys."  
  
"I'll have Tomo cast an illusion," Nakago replied complacently.  
  
"Secondly, they could be hurt or even killed!"  
  
"We're young; we can have more kids if you like," Nakago said with the same impatient apathy. After he got a look at his wife's face, he soon changed his tune, though. "Er, what I meant was…"  
  
"They can be replaced?!" Soi cried in a strangled voice. "You have ten seconds to get out of my sight, Nakago, before I begin throwing lightning bolts."   
  
"If they really mean that much to you…"  
  
"One, two three…"  
  
"We can send someone with them. Tomo for instance."  
  
"Four, five…"  
  
"Miboshi?"   
  
"Six…"  
  
"Ashitare?"   
  
"Seven, eight, nine…"  
  
"Very well. I will accompany them." Nakago conceded nastily. Soi stopped counting and stared her husband directly in the eye.   
  
"You won't let anything happen to them?"  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Promise me Nakago or else I swear on the head of Seiryuu, I will shave you bald when you sleep."   
  
The blonde shogun paled but held firm under the intense scrutiny of his outraged wife. He knew she was serious and though it put a cramp in his plans, he would keep his sons safe.   
  
For their parts, Amiboshi and Suboshi were thrilled to be going out on a 'real live' mission with their father. They got to wear disguises and costumes and everything! Only one thing puzzled them…  
  
"Mama, why are we wearing pink?" Amiboshi queried innocently as Soi finished lacing up his new magenta boots. She smirked and avoided looking at her husband.   
  
"Well baby, I want the three of you to be as innocent looking as possible. Everyone knows evil doesn't wear pink. Isn't that right, Nakago?"   
  
Across the tent, the defeated shogun was garbed in seven individual shades of the rosy hue. He had learned his lesson and on his way back from this mission, he was going to buy his devious wife a gown in the shade of her new favorite color. Evil really should wear pink, after all.   
  
TBC... 


	3. Assault on the Priestess of Poopy!

Disclaimer: I own no one.  
  
***  
  
Assault on the Priestess of Poopy!  
PinkVerse #3  
By: omni82  
  
***  
  
Nakago loved teaching his children about stealth. There was something so wholesome about sending them flying over the treetops with gags in their mouths.   
  
True, Soi would disapprove but she wasn't here. As their proximity from camp lessened, Nakago felt more and more comfortable with the idea of chancing his wife's rage and leaving the twins wandering about in the camp of Suzaku. Seiryuu knew they'd fit right in, what with their drooling faces and slow mentalities. To be fair, though, he'd admit that perhaps he had dropped them on their heads once too often when they were infants. There was something so…wiggly about children.   
  
For instance, Amiboshi and Suboshi had somehow managed to slip out of the bonds that held them together at the wrists and ankles. They had then proceeded to get into the worst God-awful messes imaginable. Amiboshi fell into a stream. Suboshi got caught in a briar patch. Both had been chased around by a black bear. It was all Nakago could do to not knock them unconscious and dump them in the enemy's camp.   
  
Hmm… That idea had merit.   
  
But before he could get the pleasure, they arrived. Motioning his fidgety troops to lay on their bellies, the blonde general scouted the encampment. The only one moving about was the third seishi, Nuriko. That was perfect; the super-strong man had never met the twins. He would send the young soldiers into enemy lines to do their worst.   
  
When he rolled over to give Amiboshi and Suboshi their instructions, Nakago found that the pair had decided to be proactive. Hand in hand, they toddled into the Suzaku seishi's bivouac and straight up to the violet haired man.   
  
Nuriko gave a start when he saw them standing there. He had been daydreaming about the day when he and Hotohori-sama would run away together when a demanding hand on his pants leg almost ripped the garment from him. Hovering about his knees were two of the cutest cherubs ever to walk the earth. Squatting down, Nuriko cooed at them.  
  
"Hey, little guys. What are you doing here?"   
  
The twins glanced at each other, their pride almost palpable. Now was their chance to con this Suzaku seishi into bringing them to the Priestess of Poopy!   
  
Scuffing his foot shyly in the dirt, Suboshi didn't quite meet the eye of his victim as he executed stage one. "We're runnin' away. Our daddy beats us."   
  
"With a stick," Amiboshi chimed in.  
  
Nuriko's jaw dropped.   
  
"Your daddy does what?!" He queried in a strangled voice.   
  
"Our daddy likes to beat the devil out of us but it doesn't work too well 'cuz he's always got to do it again." Suboshi explained gravely.  
  
"What about your mother? Surely she doesn't just let this happen?" Nuriko demanded with horror. What kind of beast could possibly hurt such sweet, adorable babies?   
  
"Mama is usually too drunk to stop him," Amiboshi told him solemnly.   
  
"She likes a little hair of the dog," Suboshi supplied with a phrase he had heard from Ashitare. He never quite understood why someone would drink dog hair but he didn't understand a lot of things.   
  
"So can we live with you now?"   
  
"Please pretty lady?"   
  
That clinched it. "Of course you can, sweetlings," Nuriko cooed. Finally a bit of happiness had come to him! He could have the babies he always dreamed of. And even if these children were second hand, he'd love them anyway.   
  
Suboshi and Amiboshi exchanged significant looks. Phase One had worked; a Suzaku seishi had accepted them. They began to wave happily at the brush in which their father was hiding.   
  
"What are you doing?" Nuriko queried, his happy reverie interrupted by his new sons' strange behavior.   
  
"Waving at a skunk," Amiboshi add-libbed quickly.   
  
Oookay. These children were definitely strange. Nuriko didn't mind though. He loved quirky people. Speaking of quirky people…he had to introduce them to Miaka!  
  
"Come with me, my little angels," Nuriko instructed sweetly as he ushered the rose-colored pair into the largest tent in the camp. It was poorly lit and the twins had to squint their eyes in order to make out a large shape in the back. At first they thought it was a mountain until it started moving. With footsteps like an earthquake, it came at them, large and hungry.   
  
"Oh Nuriko, they're adorable! I could just eat them up!" Miaka thundered. Her triple chins quivered and she licked her lips. Confronted with the Priestess of Poopy, the twins had only one rational option available to them; they screamed.  
  
When Nakago heard his sons' shouts he knew something had gone terribly awry and he blamed himself. Setting his only two children in harm's way hadn't been his brightest idea but how else was he to show his love if not to get them involved with his work?   
  
Racing down the steep embankment, he caught Chiriko and Mitsukake with a blast of chi as he went by. The scream were loudest from the large, red tent in the middle of the camp so Nakago burst into it as though entering dangerous and potentially horrifying situations was an everyday occurrence.   
  
As he plowed his fist into Nuriko's face, Nakago was suddenly frozen by the sight before him.   
  
"You're going to eat my children?!" He demanded incredulously of Miaka as he went to retrieve his thrashing sons from her flabby arms. Time had not been kind to the Priestess of Suzaku. Apparently the same cold climate that retarded his wife's powers also slowed the Priestess' incredible metabolism. Unable to burn all the calories that the miniature girl consumed, her body stored them as massive amounts of fat. The result was Nakago's profound relief that Soi was so fixated on marital fidelity.   
  
But Miaka refused to let go of her meal. The harder Nakago pulled on his sons' bony wrists, the tighter she held on. Soon even the twins' whimpers had stopped as the cascading waves of flesh slowly smothered them.   
  
"Dammit woman, let go." Nakago growled. He drew back his balled hand and let it fly at the Priestess of Suzaku's face.   
  
With the speed of a viper, Miaka dodged it and let out a shriek that made Nakago clap his hands over his ears. By Seiryuu, when had the witch gotten such power? She seemed to be screaming some incantation that, in his agony, Nakago failed to recognize until it was too late. Miaka's abrupt silence left the tormented parent momentarily defenseless, a state that Tamahome was only too happy to capitalize on.   
  
The fiendish Suzaku seishi rubbed his knuckles and glared at his fallen counterpart. He felt vindicated somehow. His enemy would never go back to his beautiful, sexy, thin wife so long as Tamahome was stuck with his very large girlfriend. If he had to suffer, everyone else must too.   
  
"My hero!" Miaka squealed as she threw her arms around her beloved's neck. Tamahome bore it stoically as a good warrior of Suzaku must. He only wanted Miaka to be happy, even if it cost him every breath of air in his lungs.   
  
As the priestess pulled away, the twins fell in a heap at Tamahome's feet. He recognized them immediately and was surprised by the spurt of relief that coursed through him as he realized they were unconscious. But as intimidating as the children were, he had use for them. As Nuriko groaned and rose unsteadily to his feet, Tamahome gave him his orders.  
  
"Take the man and kids and secure them. Then send Mitsukake in; I need to know everything he does about kodoku."   
  
Because Tamahome was the absolute dictator of the camp without any sort of moral compass to work by, Nuriko obeyed. The last time he had protested an order, the cross dresser had been on the receiving end of an unwanted haircut. Tamahome would do much worse, Nuriko knew. Hotohori was alone in Konan for a reason. Still, maybe there would be a way to save his babies in the end.   
  
***  
When Nakago came to, he was bruised, bloodied, and awfully p.o.ed. Strapped to a stake faintly reminiscent to the one he frequently tied his boys to, the blonde shogun could not get free. He tried to use his abilities to snap the ropes and blow the encampment to hell but it didn't work. For some reason, Nakago couldn't use even an ounce of his Seiryuu-given gifts. He bit down panic.  
  
"Missing something, Nakago-sama?" A familiar voice hissed in the darkness.   
  
"Tamahome." Nakago growled. "You won't get away with this. I swear to Seiryuu, I'll make sure to tear your head off your scrawny neck before I leave."   
  
"Fine words from a man whose been drugged so heavily that he can't even stand." A disembodied hand struck from the darkness, slapping the blonde man soundly across the face. The rest of Tamahome followed.  
  
"You coward," Nakago hissed scathingly. "You couldn't fight me as a man so you drugged me? Pathetic."   
  
The Suzaku seishi's jaw tightened momentarily before breaking into a wide grin. "Well if you don't like that, you'll hate what I have planned for your kids."   
  
Lights flare to life in an unfamiliar tent. Nakago squinted as his eyes adjusted. What he saw made him want the darkness back. Hung by their heels over a large pot were Amiboshi and Suboshi. Neither was awake or responding to their father's cries.   
  
"You sonuvabitch," Nakago declared brokenly. "Take them down from there. How could you even think of feeding them to the Priestess of Suzaku?"  
  
"Feed them to Miaka?" Tamahome queried in dismay. "I would not! She's had enough to eat, I think. No, I'm only going to marinate them a bit before I return them to you."   
  
"What?" Had the first seishi of Suzaku totally lost his marbles? Why would he marinate the boys then return them?   
  
"You see this sauce?" Tamahome casually strolled over to the pot and stuck a finger in it. He did not taste it, only stare at it. "It's made from kodoku. I trust you're familiar with it?"   
  
Nakago was. Kodoku was a potion that, if ingested, caused its victim to suffer an abrupt change in personality. Their traits were reversed and their memories erased. He'd never be able to explain to his wife why his sons were evil! There had to be a way out of this.   
  
Tamahome laughed cruelly as Nakago struggled feebly against his bonds. "I didn't feed you kodoku but a paralyzing agent. I want you to be awake and aware of what's happening as your sons kill you."  
  
Pulling a bottle of smelling salts from inside his coat, Tamahome waved them under the noses of the twins. The boys opened their eyes and stared at their captor in confusion. "Now boys," Tamahome said gently, "I have this big vat of candy for you here. Do you want it?" The twins perked up. Candy? Yeah they wanted it!   
  
Nakago could only gape as his idiot offspring nodded greedily. Hadn't their mother taught them anything about taking candy from deranged strangers? There was no way to break free of his bonds to stop Tamahome from dipping the children in the vat of poisoned candy.   
  
There was also no way of averting his eyes as his sons were pulled from the mixture, sleeping like the innocents they were. If they obeyed Tamahome's command to kill him, he would not fight back. Already having failed in his promise to keep them safe, Nakago would not touch the children he had unexpected come to love in this doomed mission.   
  
"Wake up my little soldiers," Tamahome cooed lovingly. Two pairs of blue eyes blinked sleepily and focused on the man before them.   
  
"Do you want to do your Uncle Tamahome a favor?" He asked sweetly. The pair shrugged their shoulders in apathetic compliance. "Could you kill that bad man for me?"   
  
As the twins stared at him with hard eyes, Nakago felt an overwhelming sense of despair. The time had come for him; he'd never get the second shinzaho, never return to his beautiful home in Kutou, never retire to spend time with his devious wife and demented sons. How could he have been so misguided this whole time about what was important? Hanging his head in shame, Nakago quietly waited for the blows.   
  
But they didn't come. "We can't kill Lord Daddy." Suboshi said, aghast.   
  
"Who would take care of us, play with us, and tell us how to stop the Priestess of Poopy?" Amiboshi echoed with the same horrified expression. Tamahome looked stunned.   
  
Nakago's mind began working furiously. All those things the boys said he did were the things Soi did! Did this mean..?  
  
"YES!! Thank you, Seiryuu!!" Nakago bellowed, a rare grin breaking out on his face.   
  
"Don't you see Tamahome? The children were once securely under the thumb of my scheming wife. They did everything she told them to and were in general, the bane of my existence. But now they work for me and it's all thanks to you!" Breaking out into hysterical laughter, the blonde seishi gave thanks to the dragon god who had so obviously smiled upon him. He had a chance of summoning the beast god and becoming a god himself now that his wife's main minions were neutralized.   
  
Tamahome sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands. He had given his hated enemy an edge. They wouldn't be able to summon Suzaku and Miaka would be here forever! Life wasn't fair!   
  
With the help of his newest, most loyal soldiers, Nakago managed to limp out of the Suzaku encampment where chaos was reigning. Things were about to take a very positive turn in his direction…  
TBC 


	4. The Curse of the Kodoku

Disclaimer: I sadly do not one anyone. Bleh.

*******

Curse of the Kodoku

Pinkverse#4

By: omni82

*******

_"Soi," Nakago breathed into his wife's fragrant hair. How right she felt in his arms…how safe he felt knowing that she'd be there. Tenderly, he ran one hand over her auburn locks and the other down her back. His woman was all ripe curves and firm flesh. He would do anything for her and she for him…his perfect…pliable…accommodating wife…_

Suboshi and Amiboshi exchanged worried looks. Lord Daddy hadn't responded to their voices in over four days. Ever since escaping the camp of the evil Suzaku Seven, their father had been in a daze that had only worsened once he got them to the relative safety of this cave. Now he was delirious, murmuring their mommy's name and smiling. What were they going to do? 

_"Nakago…" Soi withdrew from his hold just far enough to look him in the eye. "I have a gift for you. Come with me…" With the delight of a child, Nakago grasped her hand as they ran through the sunlit halls of their home…_

"We need Mommy," Suboshi whimpered. Amiboshi just nodded. It was true but how could they reach a woman so far away? 

_"Close your eyes, my love…" Obediently, he did so and was rewarded by a gentle kiss. Had he ever known such bliss in his life that compared to these four rapturous months of marriage? All his pain…all his suffering…somehow rewarded by Seiryuu in this woman. The world was cruel and uncertain. War was coming and many would die but for now…_

There was nothing they could do for their Lord Daddy. There was no way to keep him warm and they could not risk a fire with the enemy base so near by. Huddling close to their father's overheated, shivering form, the two boys wept. 

_"It's in here." He let himself be led; sometimes following was its own sweet prize. _

_"Open your eyes, beloved." _

_Momentarily, the light blindly him but when his eyes focused, he saw his surprise. _

_"Soi…" _

_"You haven't painted in years, I know, but there is such talent in you…its time to let it out again." How had she known? How had Soi known that the urge to create with canvas and pigment was still there? And how did she know the words that were more of a balm to his soul than the gift itself? _

_Crushing her to the bed, he let his mouth show her how much he appreciated his gift...how much he appreciated her..._

"We gotta try something, Amiboshi," the younger twin pleaded. "Isn't there something we can do?" Lord Daddy's temperature had suddenly skyrocketed and he was smiling too widely… 

"Maybe." Amiboshi replied slowly. "He once told me that if we were ever in trouble to concentrate on him or Mommy and they'd hear us." 

"Sounds dumb," Suboshi returned doubtfully. But he was not averse to anything at this point. If help didn't find them soon, there was no hope for Lord Daddy. "What do we do?" 

"Let's hold hands," Amiboshi suggested and clamped tightly onto his twin's cold hand. There were some other instructions that Lord Daddy had given him as well but he couldn't really remember too well. 

"Nothing's happening…" Suboshi murmured dubiously. Shouldn't there be light or something? "Is there a password? Do we gotta say something to make it work?" 

Amiboshi concentrated hard. There were words…magic words…but what were they? His four-year-old mind couldn't recall. 

Luckily, inspiration, like an inky cat, stole across his mind. "Repeat after me, Suboshi! Seiryuu Planet Power!" 

"That's dumb." 

"No really, it'll work! C'mon." Amiboshi urged. He suddenly felt very pretty and confident. 

"No way." 

"What do you mean, no way? Lord Daddy will freeze!" Amiboshi was becoming quickly impatient. He needed his brother to help him call on Seiryuu in order to get out of this mess. He had a responsibility to the world to save it, to nurture it… 

Suboshi watched his twin become starry-eyed and pulled his hand away. Sulking in a corner, he all at once decided preserved his dignity. Lord Daddy would understand. 

*** 

Soi shivered despite the blinding heat of the desert. All of a sudden, an ominous chill had run down her spine. Something was wrong with her babies; she just knew it. The intangible arrow inside her had abruptly spun. She had to get back to Hokkan right away! 

"Lady Yui," Soi called, galloping up to the head of the procession. "I'm going back for them!" The Priestess of Seiryuu merely nodded her assent; Yui was indeed the most kind and understanding priestess that Soi could have hoped for. 

But even as she was spurring her horse to north, another rider peeled away from the column and matched pace with her. 

"What do you think you are doing, Tomo?" Soi hissed as best she could over the roaring of the wind. 

"What does it look like?" Tomo cried, the feathers of his headdress whipping about his grim face wildly. "I'm not leaving Lord Nakago to the callous mercies of such a harpy." 

Soi smirked. "Nakago happens to enjoy those 'callous mercies' – every night, in fact." 

"Bitch." 

Smiling, the pair raced for the icy nation like the Hounds of Hell were on their heels. 

*** 

"Come on, Suboshi! Just say it!" 

"I won't! I won't!" 

The kodoku had begun to ravage their brains. To poison ones so young and so firmly under the sway of another was destructive madness. Nevertheless, if Tamahome could see what his plan had wrought, he would be glad. 

The harsh change of personalities was slowly annihilating the bond between the twins of Seiryuu. Suboshi had gone from a meek follower to an obstinate, close-minded tyrant who had no interest in his brother's plans. 

And to a certain degree, he was right to do so. The poison had warped Amiboshi so badly that he believed himself to be an undiscovered princeling whose glory could only be unmasked by chanting some silly words and dressing up in short skirts. In fact, he had gone so far as to hastily make a charming little dress from his cloak. 

"Cease being so stubborn," Amiboshi demanded querulously. "If you do this one little thing for me, I'll find you a cushy position once I come into my kingdom." 

"I will not put on a stupid tiara made of stupid twigs and stupidly prance around. Someone will find us before it ever comes to that." Suboshi clenched his hands tightly. If he didn't, it was more than likely he would beat his retarded brother into the dirt of this cave. They would survive, Mommy would come, and everything would be fine. It had to be. They were the good guys. 

"Suboshi! We must take destiny into our own hands and twist it into the fate we desire! I rebelled against the force invading our fair moon kingdom and…" 

Suboshi couldn't stand it a second longer. He didn't want to hear about the stupid moon kingdom! He wanted his twin to stop being such a wuss. 

"Be a man, Amiboshi!" he bellowed right before he tackled the would-be princess. 

"Unhand me, you ruffian!" The boy yelped right before Suboshi plant a fist into his face. Soon, the pair was scuffling like mortal enemies. Over and over they rolled, punching, biting, and kicking. In their fury, they rolled over Nakago and bounced out of the cave. 

Some time later, Tomo and Soi found them sleeping peacefully in the snow. Their exasperated mother didn't so much as sigh as she bundled the worn out pair into warm clothing and tucked them firmly in front of Tomo. 

But Soi was hesitant about entering the cave, which they had been lying in front of. Undoubtedly, Nakago was inside. If he were healthy and hale, the twins would not have been outside in the snow, bleeding and bruised. Steeling herself, Soi crept inside. 

It was every bit as bad as she had feared. Nakago lay motionless on the far side of the dank enclosure, shirtless and bootless. His lustrous blonde hair was lank and clung damply to his fevered brow. When Soi came to kneel at his side, he made no movement nor opened his eyes. 

"Nakago?" 

His name was fear, fear that her love was dead, fear to touch him and find out. With a terror-stricken hand, Soi gingerly touched the vein at his neck. Though his skin was clammy, his pulse beat strongly on. 

She became limp with relief. "You jerk," Soi murmured gratefully. "You vapid…moronic…imbecilic…man. Don't do that to me…don't ever do that to me again…" 

The tears came fast and furious, so much so that the relieved wife was forced to wait several minutes while they passed. Nakago wasn't dead and neither were her children. She would even forgive Tomo his insolence for all the jabs he made on the trip back. 

They were alive. As Soi wrested Nakago's debilitated form into the saddle before her, she made a vow to take special care of her family from now on. No harm would ever come to them again… 

TBC… 

~ Sorry, I just had to give Amiboshi a Sailor Moon complex. I love the manga but the anime is just so…well, I'm sure most of you understand. 

Next Chapter: Can Nakago and the twins survive Soi's brand of TLC? And what's to become of this kodoku mess? 

While you're down here, why don't you review? ~ 


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